As the Houston marriage counselor, almost all of my clients are there because they genuinely want to improve their marriage. Unfortunately, every once in a while, there are people coming to therapy who just shouldn’t be there – at least not for relationship help. Before they can receive that, they need accept that there is a problem and actually want to work to overcome it.
Going to therapy without the willingness to achieve a positive resolution to stay together is not only a waste of time, it’s a good way to dig yourself into a financial hole. With that in mind, here are a number of reasons I’ve come up with that I believe should preclude people from seeking out therapy until they’ve moved past them.
Houston Marriage Counselor: Reasons Not to Go to Therapy
See, I tried. If you’ve already decided that relationship help is beyond you and you’re just looking at therapy as a way to show that you put in the effort, it won’t be successful. This is, unfortunately, not uncommon when one or both partners believe they have found love outside their marriage.
It’s a bad fit. Different therapists may tell you otherwise, but I believe that everyone in the room needs to be comfortable with everyone else for therapy to be successful. If one of you despises your therapist, it won’t work.
Everything’s fine. When one or both of you isn’t ready to admit that problems exist, therapy will take far longer and be less productive. If you’re at therapy, there are problems – admit them so that we can deal with them. And don’t be afraid if the relationship help you think you need is different from that of your partner. It’s very common.
Just one second. If you can’t commit to following the therapy schedule and constantly shuffle appointments around or stop for interruptions during sessions, therapy is just wasting your time right now. You have to be able to prioritize it.
Yes, dear. Bowing down to whatever your partner wants isn’t therapy, it’s submission. True therapy involves both of you talking about what you want and making concessions.
If you believe that you can avoid these things and truly engage in the therapeutic process, the Houston marriage counselor may be able to help.