Therapy isn’t something normally recommended for people early on in a relationship. It’s one of those words that seems to indicate that there’s a “problem,” and no one wants to admit that when they are just starting out.
However, as theHoustonrelationship counselor, I can tell you that there is a lot to be learned from therapy and the therapeutic process that can help you develop a deeper, more intimate relationship with your partner much more quickly. How? By skipping the small talk and digging into the things that really matter.
Methods Used in Therapy Help in Having More Meaningful Conversations
Small talk is a social skill that we all learn early on as a way to interact with people we don’t really know all that well. We ask how people are, talk about the weather, mention a recent news story. As theHoustonrelationship counselor, even I find myself doing this. It’s just something we’ve gotten used to doing.
But if you find yourself falling into this trap with your partner, stop and take a step back. You want to get to know each other so that you can connect emotionally and take the relationship to the next level. Therapy can help you do this – and that doesn’t mean you have to divulge past traumas!
Be passionate. What’s your favorite book? Are you into politics? Obsessed with a particular TV show? Talking about something that matters to you and letting your partner see you be excited will often cause them to open up too.
Be attentive. Don’t wait for your turn to speak; listen and show them that you are listening and that you care.
Be agreeable. This doesn’t mean that you have to sacrifice your principles if they say something you completely disagree with, but you should try to find common ground. This could be something you both like to do, a similarity in backgrounds – anything!
Be comfortable. Talking about what really excites you or scares you with a bunch of other people around might not be your thing, so find a place where disclosure is easier. The goal is for both of you to be relaxed so that you let your guards down.
Utilize these therapy methods well and you should be well on your way to a real connection. If, however, you’ve worked hard to connect and simply feel like it’s not happening, or that you’ve lost a great connection that you once had with each other, it might be worth your while to seek out therapy with the Houston marriage counselor.