In my work Houston relationship counseling, I stay up-to-date on the latest research in psychology. A recent study on willpower by Roy F. Baumeister, a social psychologist at Florida State University, caught my eye. He talks about how willpower isn’t a fixed trait; it’s something that fluctuates for everyone.
“Making decisions uses the very same willpower that you use to say no to doughnuts, drugs or illicit sex,” Baumeister says in a recent NY Times article. “It’s the same willpower that you use to be polite or to wait your turn or to drag yourself out of bed or to hold off going to the bathroom. Your ability to make the right investment or hiring decision may be reduced simply because you expended some of your willpower earlier when you held your tongue in response to someone’s offensive remark or when you exerted yourself to get to the meeting on time.”
In a global survey of over a million people, self-control ranked dead last when people were asked to name their greatest personal strengths. When asked about their failings? A lack of self-control was at the top of the list. Our struggle with willpower seems to be a universal experience.
So what does this mean for your relationship? Be aware that you are more likely to make poor decisions at the end of the day, when your willpower has dwindled. Add alcohol to the mix, and it can be even harder to resist temptation. So, grabbing a drink after work with an attractive co-worker? Not a good idea.
But it also means that if you are dealing with relationship problems at the end of the day and about to rush out to get a divorce lawyer, sleep on it. You will be in a better place to make an important decision like that when you’re refreshed the next morning, and may find that getting Houston relationship counseling is a better option.
Seek Help in Houston Relationship Counseling
If you are struggling with avoiding an affair, it’s likely that you are struggling with relationship problems at home. Baumeister found that the most successful people don’t use their willpower as a last defense. Instead, they conserve willpower through preparation and prevention. That means, getting help for a problem before it gets out of control. Do this for your marriage by seeking Houston relationship counseling.