If you’re seeking relationship help from a Houston marriage counselor, chances are you’ve been experiencing some negativity in your relationship. When you’re in the middle of an argument with your partner, it’s all too easy to let your emotions get carried away and to start placing blame or behaving harshly. “Harsh” behavior is anything from yelling to expressing hardness through the face, eyes, and voice, and this is never productive. Luckily, there are ways to avoid negativity even when you’re having a disagreement.
Houston Marriage Counselor: Tips to Conquer Your Negativity
1. Remember the intention of your relationship. When you entered into this relationship, what were your intentions? You probably wouldn’t have wanted to be with your partner if you didn’t love them and see their good qualities. Remember these qualities, and your original relationship intentions, the next time you get into a fight. Keeping these things in perspective will help you avoid negativity.
2. Speak about how you feel rather than about what you think your partner is doing wrong. Be careful about the phrasing that you use when you’re upset with your partner. Rather than saying something like, “You’re making me angry,” say something like, “I’m feeling frustrated because of the way we’re approaching this.” That way you’re letting your partner know how you feel without placing the blame squarely on their shoulders.
3. Don’t think about having a “winner” or “loser” in the argument. When we argue, we tend to get caught up in who’s right and who’s wrong, but it’s usually not a black and white issue. There are two sides to every argument, and becoming convinced that you’re completely in the right while your partner is wrong only contributes to your negativity. Instead, try to consider the situation from your partner’s perspective and come up with a compromise.
4. Take responsibility for negative things that you have said or done. Whether it’s through movies and TV or our personal life, we’ve all heard the phrase “I didn’t mean to say that” when someone regrets something they’ve said in an argument. Instead of leaving it at that, take ownership of anything you’ve said that may have hurt your partner and apologize.
The goal of a conscious marriage is to end all negativity. Obviously, we’re only human, so we can’t do that perfectly. But by setting this goal and making a conscious effort to cut out negative words and actions, you’ll be working towards a healthier, more mature relationship. And you can always talk to a Houston marriage counselor if you need more relationship help to learn to eliminate your negativity.