As the Houston relationship counselor, I’ve had a lot of clients walk through my doors looking for marriage help because one or both of them were going through what they called a mid-life crisis. But when I ask them to describe what was happening, most detailed something that seemed much more specific than that, talking about this mental deadline they had to do certain things in their life and how they felt like it was looming – or had already passed!

Stress over this feeling of missing out on something in their lives had led to lots of fighting and anger on both sides as each of them felt both guilt for getting in their spouse’s way and hurt at apparently not being “enough” to keep them happy. These kinds of feelings are completely natural to have as we get older, and often they are made more difficult for couples because of the way many of us allow ourselves to grow apart over time. If you’re not careful, this is the kind of thing that can push you even further apart – but if you’re smart, it can instead be a way to bring you closer together.

Houston Relationship Counselor: Meet Those Deadlines – Together

You know what my advice is for most couples who come in seeking marriage help? Spend more time together doing new things and having fun. Now, I’m sure that not every item on your “deadline” list is going to be something that you can do together, but many of them probably will be. Share your “deadlines” with each other and cross them off together.

This way, you’re satisfying two needs at the same time as you get the satisfaction of completing some of your dreams while sharing it with the person you love. Even better, because it will likely be a new experience for both of you, you’ll be able to bond over it and make new memories that will stand out and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.

A Houston Relationship Counselor Can Help

But what if you have trouble sharing these dreams? Sometimes these can be highly personal and rooted in a youth where we might not even have known our spouse.

If you worry about your spouse’s reaction and want to talk to each other in a safe space, the Houston relationship counselor is always available to help.