As the Houston marriage counselor, I know that few things are more important – and more potentially emotional and divisive between spouses – than how they interact with their children. This is especially true if you’ve just had your first child, because your spouse will believe that your immediate behavior is indicative of how you’ll parent. Show frustration, anger, reluctance, or just generally withdraw, and it can cause big problems that make you seek out relationship help.
It Can Be Hard to Deal with the Role Change Parenthood Brings, Says Houston Marriage Counselor
Becoming a parent isn’t just like flipping on a light switch for many people, but an evolving process that they go through. A lot of new parents say that a newborn often doesn’t really feel like a “child” or even a “baby,” and they don’t really feel like “parents.” Instead, they are caretakers for this squalling, peeing, pooping, feeding (and once in a while sleeping) creature that depends wholly on them and cares only about its own needs.
It can be extremely difficult to adjust and accept this, especially if you felt like you were a great wife or husband before, but now that no longer seems to matter as much because your role as a parent has taken on far more importance. Some people simply don’t react well to this unexpected situation, and this causes their spouse to look at them differently.
The person engaged in more of the parenting may feel like they are being abandoned by their partner and look at them with resentment and disappointment. Meanwhile, the other spouse often feels abandoned in another way as their role as husband or wife is ignored and replaced by this thing that they are struggling with. After a while, this rift can become truly wide, but professional relationship help is available.
Houston Marriage Counselor: Take the Time to Talk
It can be hard to find time to talk to each other when you have a new baby, but if you’re struggling and feel each other slipping away, it’s something that you have to do. Many times, we lose sight of the relationship and our partner because of this awesome new responsibility, but sharing and accepting your thoughts and feelings – no matter what they are – can go a long way towards building an understanding and helping you to work through it.
This can be a stressful, exhausting time in anyone’s life, so don’t feel like you have to go through it alone. If you need help, call the Houston marriage counselor today.