Many of my Houston relationship therapy clients don’t come to see me because of some specific problem between them and their partner, but because the relationship has lost its luster. They feel unwanted, or that things have gotten into a boring rut. Does this mean that the relationship has run its course and this is just the way it is from now on?
Of course not! Over time, it’s normal and natural for us to become so comfortable with each other that the relationship may lose a bit of its newness and excitement, but that doesn’t mean things have to stay that way. You just need a bit of marriage help to inject some romance back into your relationship.
Tips to Bring the Romance Back from Houston Relationship Therapy
Since one of the hardest things to do is simply coming up with ideas to start, I wanted to offer these tips to give your marriage help. Obviously, don’t feel like you need to stick to the things here – the more unique and personal your own “tips,” the better!
Touch – a lot. After you’ve been with the same person for a while, and especially after you have children, couples tend not to touch each other as much until they’re ready for sex. Unfortunately, this causes you to lose much of the intimacy you had. Make a point to do things like hugging, holding hands, dancing, and giving each other massages – that don’t lead to sex. The point is to recreate a physical connection that doesn’t seem like it’s a means to an end.
Talk – and listen. Just as our smaller gestures of physical intimacy disappear, so can our active attempts to communicate with each other. Make it a point to ask your significant other how their day went and – more importantly – actually listen and respond. You might be surprised what you learn about each other, and even if most of what you hear is familiar, the simple act of listening and interacting will prove you care.
Plan surprises. It doesn’t have to be a big party or expensive jewelry – buy flowers, bring home dinner (just make sure nothing’s been planned first!), or do all of their chores for that day. If you can swing it, get the grandparents to take the kids for the night and have an adult evening at home.
Start dating. Setting a date night may not seem romantic, but it’s a lot better than not going out together at all. Plus, once you get in the groove, you’ll forget that it’s “scheduled” and just enjoy the alone time together.
For more tips on bringing back the romance, check out Houston relationship therapy.