When people come to relationship therapy in Houston, it’s not uncommon for fighting to be one of the main reasons. Every couple fights, but it becomes a problem when it starts to feel like your de facto way of communicating with the person you supposedly love.
The problem is that we both know each other too well and don’t know each other enough. What does that mean? That it’s way too easy to press someone’s buttons when you’re close to them.
Despite our best intentions, we often become very good at saying the perfect (wrong) thing at the perfect (wrong) time. Or we care more about being heard and being right than in actually resolving the conflict. Or we try like crazy to avoid talking about the things that bother us, which inevitably leads to a blow up that’s even worse.
Sound like you? You need marriage help!
Relationship Therapy in Houston: Common Conflict Mistakes
What it boils down to is that most of us just aren’t that good at resolving conflicts, especially with someone to whom we have a real emotional attachment. When you care deeply, it’s a lot easier to hurt each other and react emotionally instead of rationally. Here are just a few examples.
Ignore it. You know what happens when you ignore a problem? Well, it doesn’t get better, that’s for sure. Chances are that you’ll take it out on your spouse in some other way by engaging in behavior that’s passive aggressive and making them angry. Then, when you’re both good and mad, you have an argument that’s far worse.
“Calm down, you don’t understand.” Actually, those are two separate thoughts. More importantly, though, they are two things no one wants to here in the middle of a fight. It’s an argument – what better time to not be calm! And you’re telling me I don’t understand? You don’t understand!
Try to win. What do you really care about, the argument or the relationship? If you want to successfully resolve a conflict with your partner, stop worrying about convincing them or getting the last word in and think about what really matters. You probably won’t remember this argument in a week, but chances are that you’ll still want to be together.
Relationship Therapy in Houston: Get the Help You Need
It’s not easy to take a step back and think when you’re in the middle of a fight, but that’s precisely what you need to do – both of you. Work together to find a resolution. Set ground rules. And if you can’t, get marriage help by looking into relationship therapy in Houston.