I realized a long time ago that my Houston marriage counseling clients that seemed the happiest and had the longest-lasting relationships tended to be the ones who found ways to have fun doing things together. Studies have borne this out, with researchers finding that couples who share around 5 positive, caring, fun, or affectionate experiences for every 1 time they argue, hurt each others’ feelings, or have a misunderstanding are far more happy in their relationships than those who have fewer good times.
It seems pretty obvious when you think about it; people who enjoy each others’ company and have fun tend to be happier together. But often we forget how to have fun together over time, and that’s when couples end up in therapy.
Re-Learn How to Have Fun Together in Houston Marriage Counseling
There’s no magic switch that gets flipped off when we stop having fun with our spouse. Over time, life tends to get in the way. The initial chemical rush of being together gives way to things like paying bills, getting the kids to school on time, and doing laundry. Not to mention the fact that “proximity + time” is a perfect equation for conflict. You are going to fight with your partner. It’s inevitable and, in moderate doses, even part of a healthy relationship. But it becomes a drag on your partnership when those negative interactions start to overshadow the positive ones.
You can get past this and recapture the love and fun that brought you together in the first place by working on it in Houston marriage counseling. The goal is for each of you to show the other that you are there for them and they matter to you. How? A kind of therapy that both of you should enjoy: make time for each other.
Set a date night. If you find that life gets in the way of enjoying each others’ company, sometimes the best solution is to make a standing meeting – with each other! Date night should be treated like any meeting you’d have for your work, and you need to make a point to turn off the rest of your life and enjoy the time together.
Have an adventure. In a recent study, couples that tried new and “exciting” things together were more satisfied in their relationship than those who tended to do the same old things – even if they enjoyed those things. And “exciting” doesn’t have to mean skydiving. Going dancing, or to a play or concert can be just as invigorating if it’s not part of your regular routine.
Protect your time together. Beyond just turning off the phone and refraining from checking your work email, it is often a good idea to make “fun together time” a fight-free zone. Don’t avoid arguments – make it clear that whatever the issue is, it will be discussed and resolved so that it doesn’t fester – but make a rule that disagreements will be put on pause so that you can enjoy each other.
If this “therapy” doesn’t work for you, feel free to contact our Houston marriage counseling offices and schedule an appointment for advice specific to your relationship.