Effective communication is one of the most important tools I ask my Houston marriage counseling clients to practice. Sometimes even repeating certain phrases can help you calm down and begin to resolve relationship issues.

By using mantras, you and your partner can focus your attention on solutions instead of problems. Zen Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh has four mantras for a successful relationship that I would like to share today.

Houston Marriage Counseling: Thich Nhat Hanh’s 4 Mantras for a Successful Relationship

1. “Darling. I’m here for you.” Keep in mind that the most important thing you can offer your spouse is your presence and undivided attention. Show your spouse that you are there for him or her in the present moment, and that you are not distracted by the past or the future.

2. “Darling. I know you are there and I am so happy because you are truly there.” Recognize the importance of your spouse. Everyone wants to feel appreciated, and by acknowledging how much your spouse’s presence means to you, you are validating his or her role in your life.

3. “Darling. I know you suffer…that is why I am here for you.” This phrase is more powerful than the tired “I know how you feel.” Instead of making the claim that you understand exactly what your partner is going through, acknowledge that he or she is suffering because of your relationship problems and that you want to offer your support. Your presence alone can begin to bring relief.

4. “Darling. I suffer. I am trying my best to practice. Please help me.”  This is a mantra for when you feel like you want to punish the person you love for making you suffer. Repeating this phrase is meant to help you overcome that feeling, and to show your partner that your relationship is valuable enough that you are willing to work to repair it. By asking for your partner’s help, you are both making yourself vulnerable and showing that you want to work together to resolve your relationship issues.

These mantras are a powerful step towards reconciliation, but you and your partner don’t have to practice them alone. Houston marriage counseling can help as you work to strengthen your relationship.