After relationship issues related to sex and money, one of the most common reasons couples come to see the Houston marriage counselor is due to problems or conflicts that arise because of their children.
Now, there are lots of issues that having kids can raise, one of the biggest being an inability to find time for your relationship and for physical intimacy. Often, though, that’s something that can be solved simply by making an effort to set aside time for dates and even scheduling sex. You’ll never feel like there’s enough time, so you just have to make a plan and stick to it as much as possible.
Something that can be harder to overcome is a difference in the way that you believe you should raise your children.
Houston Marriage Counselor: The Three Common Parenting Styles
Obviously most people don’t fall into a single category, but in general, it is possible to break parenting styles down in one of three ways: authoritarian, affirmative, and hands-off.
Authoritarian parents live by rules and punishments. Kids will do what they say not based on reasoning or even love, but because the parents are in charge and they say so. Having to explain undermines their authority, and they’re not afraid to be strict because they believe this will make their children respect and obey them.
Affirmative parents are still the ultimate authority, but they talk to their children and offer them choices. In this way, they believe that they are teaching their kids to think for themselves and learn to make decisions.
Hands-off parents are pretty much what they sound like. They argue that trying to impose structure and rules on their children limits them and makes it harder for them to operate in the adult world. By taking a step back and letting them figure things out for themselves, they’re helping their kids to grow.
As you might imagine, all of these styles have potential strengths and weaknesses. But that’s something that’s a lot easier to see when we’re not talking specifically about your kids. What happens when you and your spouse don’t agree?
Houston Marriage Counselor: Navigating Parental Differences
Our beliefs on how to raise our children are rooted in how we were brought up, making them inextricably intertwined with strong feelings. If you and your partner don’t share the same beliefs, you will likely find yourself butting heads over decisions and even blaming them when they go against you and something goes wrong.
This can cause all kinds of relationship issues, so it’s important to talk about bigger things ahead of time and work on your compromising skills. And when you do have disagreements in the moment, try to find a way to step aside so that you can talk about it in private rather than getting heated in front of your kids. And if it gets too difficult, the Houston marriage counselor is always willing to help.