As a Houston relationship counselor, a very common topic that I discuss with my clients is how having a child affects their relationship. We all know that having a child brings a lot of happiness, but it also brings added stresses that can cause marriage problems.

Many couples end up feeling overwhelmed by their new bundle of joy. They are exhausted from late-night feedings. They are stressed from the financial strains that a new baby brings. There’s little or no time to relax. As a result, their sex life suffers.

Take Back Your Post-Child Sex Life, Tips from a Houston Relationship Counselor

Remember romance. Working as a Houston relationship counselor, I find that couples too often forget how important romance is for a relationship. This can especially be true when there are kids in the house. Make your spouse feel wanted and loved. It can be as simple as a dozen roses for no reason, or as intricate as a romantic dinner followed by a night in a fancy hotel while the grandparents watch the baby.

Be spontaneous. I know having a routine seems like a necessity after having a child, and in a lot of ways, it is. But that doesn’t mean you can’t toss it away for a few hours and have a couple’s adventure. You wouldn’t believe how much energy can be injected back into your sex life after a quick trip to that amusement park you went to on your first date. Just make sure you set up a sitter in advance.

Communicate. Find out why your partner doesn’t want to be intimate more often. It may be something as common as a wife feeling unsure of her post-birth body, or a husband feeling like he is an inadequate father. But if you communicate your issues to each other, everyone will feel more comfortable in the bedroom.

Avoid kid talk. Obviously, your child is a very important part of your lives, and it’s crucial that you communicate about him or her. But that doesn’t need to be the only thing you talk about. When you have some alone time as a couple, make a point to talk about the things you used to talk about before your new child was in the picture.

If you find you need more help with your post-baby marriage problems, don’t be afraid to seek advice from a Houston relationship counselor.

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